Your Carefully Laid Mission Plans Might Receive a God-Sized Edit
I had grand ideas of what I would do in missions, but God edited my plans. I planned to go to Ukraine as a single woman and use my gifts of physical therapy, massage, and personal training to help disabled kids. But now, I’m married to a missionary pilot and raising and homeschooling our two children in Africa.
When I could no longer do the work I loved, I struggled with the change. What would I do for God? For me, it wasn’t as plain as “love people and represent Christ.” (See my blog post “Missions? Really, God?”).
I was quite naïve about what it meant to be a missionary. I felt I had to earn my missionary title by having a mission-worthy job, disciple a certain number of young people, and always have a ministry story to share. When we first moved to Africa, I volunteered at the local orphanage for three years. However, things changed once our son came along. I brought him to the orphanage with me until he was about two years old, but I would go home exhausted and spent, with nothing left for my husband (or myself). Managing our home, raising a child, and volunteering was too much for me to maintain.
Ministry to Husband and Family
My husband reminded me almost daily that supporting him and raising children is ministry, and I should be free to do that with all my heart. But, I still felt I had to supplement with outside work to be worthy of Christ’s love and the title of missionary. I felt like the world screamed that being a wife and mom was not enough.
Boy, just putting that out there makes me wonder if anyone else has had similar feelings? Have you listened to the voices of the world? Have you heard a tinge of disdain from someone when you tell them you’re a stay-at-home-mom? Or have you heard it from yourself as you answer, “I’m just a wife and mom”?
Maybe like me, you need to learn that there is no such thing as “just a wife” or “just a mom.” As wives, we are supporting our husbands through love, prayer, and encouragement, and as moms, we are filling our kids’ hearts with the love and joy of Christ. The world won’t do that for us—they already look at us sideways for wanting to raise our kids ourselves. Though it has taken me a while to realize it, it’s a joy for me to stay home with my kids and teach them about God.
Sometimes we pressure ourselves to do more work, perhaps to impress those we’re living amongst or serving beside. Maybe we compare ourselves to other missionaries and try to do, or outdo, what they are doing.
Where Do We Find Our Identity?
When God edited my carefully laid plans, I learned, and I hope you will, too, that we do not find our identity in the labels put on us by others or those we put on ourselves. Instead, we find our identity in Scripture, which states that we are God’s creation, created in His image, to do His work of caring for His creation. That includes other people—especially our families.
As you venture into your missions journey, you may or may not have or desire to have children. In my journey, I have found joy in my calling to be a wife, supporting and praying for my husband in his work, and a mom, raising my kids to know Christ and homeschooling them with Christian values.
“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:2–3)
Ministry Outside Your Home
If you choose to have a ministry outside your home, if you want to volunteer at an orphanage, a safe home, a soup kitchen, a hospital, or one of the many other ministries needed overseas, that is wonderful. Take an inventory of the gifts God gave you and put them to good use. If you have kids, ask if you can bring them with you to some of these places and teach them about serving in the community. Remember that we shouldn’t do these things to do more for God or find out what God wants us to do for Him. We have already established what God wants from us—to love God and love others.
It is important to weigh how much you can do outside the home carefully. Someone once suggested to me, and I’ll pass it on to you, to wait about six months before adding outside ministry. This time will allow you to get settled and comfortable navigating your new culture.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”
Colossians 3:23–24
I pray there are people around you who can help you discern how much to take on when you move overseas. Let me pray for you now.
Father God, I know You have my friend in your hands. As You prepare her to be Your representative overseas, I pray You would speak to her through the people You have placed in her life. Give her wisdom and discernment in choosing how much to take on outside her home. Remind her, Lord, that Your love is not dependent on her works, that supporting her husband and raising children is indeed a valuable ministry. I pray in Jesus’s name. Amen.
I explore many facets of missionary work in my book Living Uprooted: Encouragement for the Missionary Wife. Keep an eye out for the ebook release on February 22, 2022.
Warm & loving words, Mari, for your sister-friends in Christ.
Thank you, Dr. T! I do hope to encourage others with my words.