Your Best You Blog Series (part 4 of 4)
Welcome to part four and the conclusion of my Your Best You blog series. Today, I will expand on the story from parts two and three of this series (Anchored in Truth and Light to Fight Against the Lies and Darkness and Improving Mental Health to Increase Ability to Fight Against the Enemy). If you haven’t read them, go ahead and click the links. In this post, I discuss how we learn to navigate our feelings to improve our emotional well-being.
Have you ever had a tear creep down your cheek during an emotional conversation, and you turned away from your friend as you said, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” and quietly wiped the tears away and tried to compose yourself, feeling as if you are not allowed to cry? I’ve done it. I’ve had friends do it, too.
I recently sat with a friend as she poured out her heart. Fear had been keeping her from sharing years of pain which was now bottled up inside. Her husband shames her at home when she shares her feelings, just as her family did as she was growing up, so she has learned to stuff them. Whenever she thinks about the things that hurt, she distracts herself with movies, music, social media, food, etc.
She finally got the courage to tell me what was happening at home. As we talked, each time her tears fell, she would quickly wipe them away, seemingly embarrassed they had fallen, then talk about something else as if she were not allowed to express her pain.
I weep for her. I see myself in her—a kid trying to navigate the loss of her mother as her father turned to alcohol, her family hurting as much as she was, and none of us able to express our feelings in a way that helped anyone. Instead, keeping our emotions bottled inside until they explode in anger.
Reflecting on the phone call I mentioned in my last two posts, my friend shared that I hurt her feelings because of something I’d done (rather, hadn’t done). My emotions—how I felt about things—were already all over the place, and I couldn’t put “feeling words” to anything. I was tired and had allowed myself to take on too much. So, I was already emotionally compromised. I worried about crime, missed being with people in person, and compared myself with others—and decided I was coming up short.
Nothing brought joy. There was no thriving, just surviving.
I am now aware of my emotions. To put words to it, I was overwhelmed, sad, and disappointed.
I can accept these for what they are—feelings.
One thing that helped me out of the darkness that day was writing in my journal to express my feelings. It didn’t matter if what I was feeling was the truth or not. It was just how I felt. Expressing those emotions was healing in and of itself. When I look at my journal entry from that day, I can see that the enemy was at work feeding me lies. However, if I had kept those emotions inside, they would eventually come out in negative ways I would not understand because I would have no idea where they came from.
It didn’t matter if what I was feeling was the truth or not. It was just how I felt.
As my friend prepared to leave, I encouraged her with one simple challenge, and I offer it to you today. If there is pain in your life, get with God. Instead of drowning out the hurt with distractions, allow yourself to feel it. Let yourself cry. Let the tears come, and simply be aware of your feelings. Sometimes a good cry is refreshing to the soul!
It is good to be aware of our emotions and our triggers and accept our feelings for what they are—feelings. Good or bad, truth or lies, it’s just how we feel. Expressing our feelings helps us process them in a healthy way. One way we can do that is to take our emotions to God in prayer and ask Him to help us make sense of them, to sort them out and understand them, or at least to be aware of them. Putting words to our feelings by saying or writing, “I am feeling sad” or “I’m angry!” helps us do all the above. Expressing helps build awareness, awareness helps us accept, and acceptance helps us process.
What are some things you’re feeling in your life today? Joy? Sadness? Anger? Indifference?
Take a moment to examine your heart, assess your emotions, and try to put words to them. Then take them to God, and allow Him to help you process them.
Let’s pray now.
Father God, thank You for the emotions You have created in me. Please help me to be aware of my emotions and to accept them as part of who I am. Remind me that what I feel is not good or bad. It just is. Whether or not what I feel is based on truth or stems from a lie, it’s just a feeling. Thank You for being a safe place to express and process my emotions. Please help me to see Your truth when my feelings are rooted in lies. I love You, Lord, and I pray my life—emotions and all—will bring you honor and glory. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Thank you for joining me in this series! I’d love to hear from you!
How do you strive to be Your Best You spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally?
What are your strategies that help you through difficult circumstances?
Feel free to comment below to help encourage others!
I adapted today’s blog post from my book Living Uprooted: Encouragement for the Missionary Wife. The chapter in the book discusses physical and nutritional health, spiritual health, and mental and emotional health—taking time for ourselves to reconnect with God and clear our minds.
If you want to purchase my book, you can find it at Amazon, Redemption Press, or Barnes and Noble.
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